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The Dark Side of Parasocial Culture: Why Fans Need to Let Chappell Roan Live
Leave Chappell Roan alone, bitch please.
Maybe what is limiting our current generation from having the pop stars of the early 2000s is our internet access and disrespect for boundaries. Being a popstar in 2005 meant intrusive paparazzi sure, with fans trying to consume their every moment.
But the rise of social media like TikTok has brought an experience of “knowing” the artist. When Chappell makes videos talking to her phone camera with just her head in frame, it feels like you’re on FaceTime. Fans get to interact with her. Especially because part of her rise to fame came with her being an independent artist and internet persona while she promoted her work. Likely before her massive spike in fame, she responded to her TikTok comments personally. She may still do. But regardless of whether it is Chappell herself responding to messages and having fan interactions online, there are members of her fanbase who feel that they know her on a deeply, uncomfortably personal level.
TikTok marketing (among other things) has led to a massive rise in parasocial relationships between fans and the artists they idolize. We can recognize that an artist like Chappell Roan who has spent ten years mastering her craft and creating the persona we’ve seen in her most recent project, The Rise and Fall of a Midwestern Princess is a gift to pop music. I can also imagine how exhausting it must be for her.
I saw Chappell at her New Haven show the week of the release of “Good Luck Babe,” her single that triggered a landslide of success. I photographed her at a 2,000 person sold out venue at College Street Music Hall for my school paper. It was the biggest show I’d ever shot. I thought about how successful she was already. I had no idea that a month later she’d be playing two weekends at Coachella and would become a name in the mouths of straight people. I watched her speech on a live streamed intro to the song “My Kink is Karma” saying “This one goes out to my ex, because bitch I know you’re watching and all those horrible things happening to you are karma. It’s me!” The next weekend in the same intro: “My name is Chappell Roan. I’m your favorite artist’s favorite artist. I’m your dream girl’s dream girl, and I’m gonna serve exactly what you are, cunt!” – says Chappell Roan dressed as a butterfly on the Coachella stage. These two introductions were iconic and left the internet ablaze with talk of how she was single-handedly bringing back pop stars.
This summer she has performed at music festival after music festival, with many having to move her to larger stages because of the crowds she was sure to attract. At Lollapalooza she pulled 80,000 people. At Kentuckiana Pride people watched from bridges for the sold out event, doing the “Hot to Go” dance with the artist. Seeing her at Outside Lands in San Francisco just two weeks ago, the crowd was so packed that it filled the entire lawn for the main stage. This success is absolutely warranted but I am sure it is terrifying.
I must admit that I was late to the Chappell Roan party myself, I was a casual listener when the album dropped but I did not give the record a chance. I need to listen back to back to back on repeat in order to take a song in and then decide how I feel about it. Once I did this with her album I was instantly hooked. When I started seeing videos of her performing, jogging in one place singing the bridge of “Red Wine Supernova” I fell in love with her again. I fell in love with her art, that is. And this is part of the problem. What I love about Chappell is she is campy and outgoing, reminding me of the queer community I was raised in.
My experience couldn’t be more different than Chappell’s, I was raised by lesbians in Berkeley California, compared to her religious midwest upbringing. But for me, the experience of being a femme lesbian is putting on a drag performance of femininity– and I see myself in her outrageous stage outfits. It all comes back to the performance of it all. I like that it’s an act. I don’t think that the woman who created Chappell Roan owes me anything. Nor do I know if I’d even be a fan of her or like her. I am a fan of her art.
On Monday August 19th Chappell made a TikTok asking fans:
“I need you to answer questions…if you saw a random woman on the street, would you yell at her from your car window? Would you harass her in public? Would you go up to a random lady and say can I get a photo with you and shes like no what the fuck and then you get mad at this random lady? Would you be offended if she says no to your time because she has her own time? Would you stalk her family, would you follow her around? Would you try to dissect her life and bully her online? This is a lady you don’t know, and she doesn’t know you at all. Would you assume that she’s a good person, assume she’s a bad person? Would you assume that everything you read about her online is true? I’m a random bitch, you’re a random bitch. Just think about that for a second okay?“
Underneath “Chappell Roan” there is an artist who is ultimately a young woman who has been made to feel unsafe.
In the second part to this video she continues:
“I don’t care that abuse and harassment, stalking whatever is a normal thing to do to people who are famous or a little famous or whatever. I don’t care that it’s normal, I don’t care that this crazy type of behavior comes along with the career field I’ve chosen. That does not make it okay, that doesn’t make it normal. Doesn’t mean I want it, doesn’t mean that I like it. I don’t want whatever the fuck you think you’re supposed to be entitled to whenever you see a celebrity. I don’t give a fuck if you think its selfish of me to say no for a photo or for your time or for a hug. That’s not normal, that’s weird. It’s weird how people think you know a person just cuz you see them online or you listen to art they make. Thats fucking weird, I’m allowed to say no to your creepy behavior okay.“
People called her ungrateful for these comments. Others worried she would stop creating music altogether. The comments are turned off on both of these videos.
On Friday August 23rd Chappell posted a statement to her Instagram. It reads:
“For the past 10 years I’ve been going nonstop to build my project and it’s come to the point that I need to draw lines and set boundaries. I [have] want[ed] to be an artist for a very very long time. I’ve been in too many non consensual physical and social interactions and I just need to lay it out and remind you, women don’t owe you shit. I chose this career path because I love music and art and honoring my inner child, I do not accept harassment of any kind because I chose this path, nor do I deserve it. I am specifically talking about predatory behavior (disguised as “superfan” behavior) that has become normalized because of the way women who are well-known have been treated in the past. Please do not assume you know a lot about someone’s life, personality, and boundaries because you are familiar with them or their work online. This situation is similar to the idea that if a woman wears a short skirt and gets harassed or catcalled, she shouldn’t have worn the short skirt in the first place. It is not the woman’s duty to suck it up and take it; it is the harasser’s duty to be a decent person, leave her alone, and respect that she can wear whatever she wants and still deserve peace in this world. I want to love my life, be outside, giggle with my friends, go to the movie theater, feel safe, and do all the things every single person deserves to do. Please stop touching. me. Please stop being weird to my family and friends. Please stop assuming things about me. There is always more to the story. I am scared and tired. And please–don’t call me Kayleigh.
I feel more love than I ever have in my life. I feel the most unsafe I have ever felt in my life. There is a part of myself that I save just for my project and all of you. There is a part of myself that is just for me, and I don’t want that taken away from me.
Thank you for reading this. I appreciate your understanding and support. ❤️“
The caption reads:
“I turned off comments because I’m not looking for anyone’s response. This isn’t a group conversation. I understand that this is jarring to hear from a person in my position. I’m not afraid of the consequences for demanding respect. Just to let you know, every woman is feeling or has felt similar to what I’m experiencing. This isn’t a new situation. If you see me as a bitch or ungrateful or my entire statement upsets you, baby that’s you… you gotta look inward and ask yourself “wait why am I so upset by this? Why is a girl expressing her fears and boundaries so infuriating?” That is all. Thank you for reading <3“
Let’s evaluate our relationships with artists like Chappell. Do you “stan” her so hard that you’ll scare her off the internet. Will this be the downfall of this new wave of pop stars?
Her last post was on her Instagram story Saturday late morning. She says: “When a woman is upset and says something the automatic response is to be like yo chill. It’s not chill. So I’m not going to be chill. I wanna throw fucking parties for gay people on stage, that’s my favorite part of this. And I want people to feel safe at my shows and feel like a community. I want to feel that way too. I love you and love is not transactional and I think you know that. Thank you for your support.”
Please. Let queer women live. We should be grateful we get to experience their art at all. What gives fans the right to consume the artist in addition to their art. This applies to more than just Chappell Roan, it is about all women in music, all marginalized artists. They don’t owe us themselves, they don’t even owe us their art. Let’s say thank you for what they do give and learn some respect for their boundaries.
Written by Anya Tucker
Photo by Anya Tucker
